Wedding Burden

Hello!

Normally I wouldn't say anything about how a couple choses to delegate chores when planning a wedding or in their lives afterward but today my friends I must speak out. I chatted with a friend of mine today who is planning her and her fiancé's impending nuptials... completely by herself. Which is fine,some women NEED or like to be in control. This friend however, did not need to be in control and she justified her enormous wedding workload by saying that her soon to be fiance was incapable of completing the tasks because "he doesn't pay attention to the details and I can't trust him."

My question to her was why marry him then? Think to yourself... do you have so little faith in your mate that you cannot trust him with ANYTHING. Do you assume he doesn't want to be part of one of the biggest days of his life?

As a latent feminist I am a bit insulted by all of this. People always say the wedding is for the bride but in my experience the wedding is for the bride to plan. I by no means intend to sound pessimistic about the institution of marriage but I always liked the idea of planning a wedding together as sort of a team project that allowed a couple to work together and compromise. Apparently I have a somewhat rose tinted view of what a wedding is.

So ladies if you are reading this and asking yourself why you are the one toting the pink planner bursting with swatches I encourage you to do something radical (I do not mean dump him and buy a cat.) Talk to your soon to be husband about the work required. In all of the planning I am sure there is something that he will be interested in taking on. And if he is not, remind him that you can't do everything and it would be a shame if you got so busy you forgot to ensure the open bar, or the DJ that has his favorite songs, or if need be, threaten to sit him next to your father, mother, great aunt or any other offending family member (or turned into an absolute bridezilla incapable of being in the same room with him thus making for an unfortunate honeymoon). Remind him that if you both plan the wedding then there will be food he likes, there will be activities he enjoys, and if you work together then the wedding will be FUN (not just perfect) for both of you. And ultimately that is what you want not just the white tent and the peonies dripping over every horizontal surface.

Please let me know if you agree or it is just me?
Alexandra